Introduction
John, Chapter 20, tells us the disciples had locked themselves in a room after Jesus' crucifixion. Jesus came through the door (and I mean "through the door") and wished them peace. Thomas was not present, so Jesus reappeared a week later when Thomas was there. John 21 gives the account of Jesus' third appearance to the disciples as a group. Peter becomes the focal point of the third story.
It is important to remember what kind of man Peter was. When Jesus began to wash Peter's feet, Peter adamantly objected. When Jesus told Peter he could have no part of him if he would not allow his feet to be washed, Peter asked Jesus to wash all of him. When the disciples saw Jesus walking on the water, it was Peter who got out of the boat to take Jesus at his word. When the mob came to arrest Jesus, it was Peter who took a sword and loped off a man's ear. And when John and Peter ran to the empty tomb, John got there first and peered inside, but Peter bolted past him into the tomb. Peter was always in the moment leading with his heart.
The critical story to keep in mind as we approach John 21 is the one from John 13:
36 Simon Peter said to him, "Lord, where are you going?" Jesus answered, "Where I am going, you cannot follow me now; but you will follow afterward." 37 Peter said to him, "Lord, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you." 38 Jesus answered, "Will you lay down your life for me? Very truly, I tell you, before the cock crows, you will have denied me three times. (John 13:36-38 NRSV)
In John 18, we find that Peter did deny Jesus, just as Jesus said he would. By John 21, Jesus has met with the disciples twice, but still nothing has been said about Peter's denial. What must have been going on in Peter's mind in those days after the resurrection? Surely there was much joy at the resurrection. But what of the betrayal?
John 21:1-14
1 After these things Jesus showed himself again to the disciples by the Sea of Tiberias; and he showed himself in this way. 2 Gathered there together were Simon Peter, Thomas called the Twin, Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two others of his disciples. 3 Simon Peter said to them, "I am going fishing." They said to him, "We will go with you." They went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing. (John 21:1-3 NRSV)
When the disciples traveled with Jesus, friends and townspeople took care of them. That was over. The disciples returned to their work as fishermen to provide for themselves. The Sea of Tiberias is in Galilee, and it is in Galilee that Jesus said he would meet them after the resurrection. They were there waiting to see what would happen next.
4 Just after daybreak, Jesus stood on the beach; but the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. 5 Jesus said to them, "Children, you have no fish, have you?" They answered him, "No." 6 He said to them, "Cast the net to the right side of the boat, and you will find some." So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in because there were so many fish. 7 That disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord!" When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on some clothes, for he was naked, and jumped into the sea. 8 But the other disciples came in the boat, dragging the net full of fish, for they were not far from the land, only about a hundred yards off. (John 21:4-8 NRSV)
This event probably began in the early hours before dawn and they probably could not see all that clearly. The NRSV says Jesus called to them, saying "children," using a term of endearment. Interestingly, the first encounter we read about between Peter and Jesus has similar circumstances, with Peter fishing and Jesus telling him to cast on the other side.
As soon as he realizes who it is, impetuous Peter leaps out of the boat and runs ahead to meet Jesus. The rest bring in the boat full of fish. Jesus, who had always provided for them before, provides for them once again.
9 When they had gone ashore, they saw a charcoal fire there, with fish on it, and bread. 10 Jesus said to them, "Bring some of the fish that you have just caught." 11 So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish, a hundred fifty-three of them; and though there were so many, the net was not torn. 12 Jesus said to them, "Come and have breakfast." Now none of the disciples dared to ask him, "Who are you?" because they knew it was the Lord. 13 Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. 14 This was now the third time that Jesus appeared to the disciples after he was raised from the dead. (John 21:9-14 NRSV)
A curious note to this story is that the disciples have been fishing all night without catching a thing. Yet verse nine tells us that Jesus is already on the shore preparing fish and bread (a traditional breakfast.) Where did the fish come from? I have always been puzzled by the inclusion of this detail. Whatever the case, Jesus understands their physical need and takes care of them before addressing other matters.
John 21:15-19
Before going to the next verses, we must clarify a translation issue. In English, we use the word "love" to mean many things. I might say, "I love my wife," or "I love baseball," or "I would love to have you over for dinner." Greek has a variety of words to describe distinct types of "love." Two words, in particular, are in use in the next few verses. Appreciating their differences is critical to understanding the dialog.
Phileo – To have a fondness for someone. Have warm feelings for a person.
Agapao – To make a total commitment of the will to love a person no matter the cost.
In these next verses, I have inserted these Greek words in brackets so you can see what Jesus is asking and how Peter is responding. Remember that Peter had failed miserably just days before despite claiming he was totally committed to Jesus and would die for him.
15 When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you love [agapao] me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love [phileo] you." Jesus said to him, "Feed my lambs."
The "more than these" that Jesus asks about is widely understood as the other disciples. Jesus asked Peter about agapao, and Peter responded with phileo. Peter could not express the level of commitment that Jesus asked of him. Still, Jesus instructed him to "Feed my lambs." The image here is of giving basic sustenance to a vulnerable baby sheep. As Jesus had identified himself as "the Good Shepherd," Peter almost certainly understood Jesus calling him an under-shepherd or "pastor."
16 A second time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love [agapao] me?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love [phileo] you." Jesus said to him, "Tend my sheep."
Jesus and Peter repeat the same exchange. Due to his devastating failure, Peter is much more conscious of his impetuousness and will not avow beyond what is truly in his heart. This time Jesus says, "Tend my Sheep." This time the connotation is not just feeding but protecting them and bringing them to maturity. But Jesus isn't done yet.
17 He said to him the third time, "Simon son of John, do you love [phileo] me?" Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, "Do you love [phileo] me?" And he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love [phileo] you." Jesus said to him, "Feed my sheep.
Peter's recent failure had brought him face to face with his "dark side." He was not the ardent follower he thought he was or hungered to be. He became aware of this in himself, and by Jesus bringing the question down to a level of commitment Peter could honestly claim, Peter knows that Jesus knows that Peter is not the person he had said he was. We know enough about Peter to realize that being a "true believer" was central to his identity. Peter knew he was broken and knew Jesus knew it too. The dirty secret was out. And yet Jesus was telling Peter to feed his sheep!
18 Very truly, I tell you, when you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go." 19(He said this to indicate the kind of death by which he would glorify God.)
To travel comfortably and effortlessly, people would "gird up" their clothes, as some translations say, so they could move more freely. However, this binding (zonnumi) concept had common usage in another context. When Jesus was crucified, he was nailed to a cross. The crucified were often "bound" to a cross instead of nailed. Tradition has it Peter died by crucifixion, although he was bound upside down because he felt he did not deserve to die as Christ did.
But that was not the end of the exchange between Jesus and Peter.
After this he said to him, "Follow me."
Conclusions
Peter's over-the-top, unexamined enthusiasm caught up with him when crunch time hit. Peter was brought face to face with himself, and I am sure he was devastated by what he saw.
I remember reading author Parker Palmer's account of his visits with a therapist. Palmer told his therapist of recurring dreams of an unidentified monster relentlessly chasing him. His therapist encouraged him, if possible, to stop, turn around, and see what the monster was in the dream. Palmer reported he finally did so in a dream. To his astonishment, the monster was himself! He was running from the part of himself he did not want to be. He realized the only way to health was to embrace the monster as part of who he was. Only then could he move forward. Peter was brought face to face with his monster.
The "good news" is Jesus loves people with monsters. In fact, the ONLY people Jesus can use are people who can turn and face their monsters. What I find truly liberating in this story is that Jesus does not demand Peter come to a certain level of commitment or attainment before Jesus can use him for ministry. Jesus starts where Peter is, but only after Peter can himself acknowledge where he is! Then came those two powerful words from Jesus, "Follow me."
We don't come to a place of perfection, and then Jesus decides to use us. We answer Jesus' call to follow him, monster and all, and Jesus leads us to perfection.
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