My Automotive Theological Crisis

800px-1998-02_Mazda_Millenia Mrs. Kronicle thinks it's time for the Kronciler to dump his old '98 Mazada Millenia (Mazda's spelling) and get a newer car (see Wikipedia photo). As I've pondered this, I find it is creating a significant theological crisis.

If I sell the car, won't that make me post-millenial? Or could it be that I will be without a Millenia, therefore amillenial after the sale? Mrs. Kroncile spotted a good 2002 Millenia for sale on the web. If I decide to go that direction, will I have become pre-millenial before buying it? And once I buy it, wouldn't that make me post-millenial while in the new Millenia? Does the fact that Mazda spelled the brand with one "n" give me a loophole?

This has been a great tribulation for me. I'm paralyzed. Maybe Jesus will rapture me, and I won't need to decide. I need counsel from my readers.


Comments

5 responses to “My Automotive Theological Crisis”

  1. Dana Ames Avatar
    Dana Ames

    LOL!
    Clearly your shorts are all bunched up over this quandary. Only one thing for it- get a Prius!
    (We love ours- near-zero emissions and 47 mpg average. I’m a big fan, if you can’t tell.)
    Seriously, there are lots of good choices out there, and as long as you can take your time – no engine blow-ups, etc. – it’s fun finding a new/er car.
    Dana

  2. Alan Wilkerson Avatar
    Alan Wilkerson

    You could just forget Revelation altogether and get a Hyundai Genesis.
    Alan

  3. This whole thing is pre-posterous…

  4. Dana
    It is possible my Cartesian mind, but I perceive that Prius means “before” or “ahead.” Is this a secret ploy to get back into the “pre-” camp?
    Alan
    At least we are of one Accord on using biblical cars.
    Cameron
    I thought the language play was rather postmodern.

  5. Dana Ames Avatar
    Dana Ames

    Nope, I’m not that clever 🙂
    D.

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