Tulsa World: Counselors: Online affairs skyrocketing

Married people are increasingly using social networking sites to cheat, they say.

Two decades ago, they were high school sweethearts.

On a whim, he Googled her on his office computer, and found she lived in a nearby state.

"It's innocent enough," he told himself as he fired off an e-mail to her, "just two old friends reconnecting."

Months later, after an exchange of e-mails, then cell phone calls, in which they eventually talked about their tepid marriages, they agreed to meet at a hotel in Dallas.

This scenario, a composite of clients of Tulsa marriage counselor Brent Sharpe, has become commonplace as the Internet and social media lubricate relationships between people.

"In the last three years, we've seen an astronomical increase in Internet-related affairs," said Sharpe, with the Life Connection Counseling Center. "This whole affairs thing is just off the charts."

Sharpe, a pastor who works primarily with Christian clients in his counseling center, said more than 50 percent of his practice is affair recovery, much of it Internet-related.

"Anything that's good always has its dark side," he said of the Internet.

"Twenty years ago, there was no way to find a high school sweetheart," he said. And social boundaries restricted the face-to-face contact needed for an affair to develop.

The Internet has removed those boundaries, he said, "allowing a relationship to begin to flourish where it never got any traction before." …

This all makes sense to me. A stat says that one in eight couples met today through the Internet. If true, then it seems it would also substantially impact illicit relationships.


Comments

2 responses to “Counselors: Online affairs skyrocketing”

  1. Happened to me about a year ago. Ain’t tech great!
    There was a time when talking about intimate details of our lives was off-limits, but the Info-Age changed all that. Once you start talking about your romantic partner, romance is on the table and anything can happen. These days, though, romance is always on the table.
    Luddite that I am, we didn’t talk long about subjects once taboo, and the reconnection faded away.
    But imagine the way Google Wave will mix and mingle with this problem. Once you start a wave with an object-de-flirtation, it’ll be there waiting every night and every morning and all through the day with fresh little edits all over the screen and the handy “replay” feature to relive the buzz all over again.
    Tech is offering us way too much pleasure, my friend. I think Proverbs 7 may apply very directly to the Web:

    Pro 7:24-27 ¶ Hearken unto me now therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth. Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths. For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong [men] have been slain by her. Her house [is] the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death.

  2. I wonder if digital trails are also increasing the number of people who get caught.
    If people want to have affairs, they will.

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