Kruse Kronicle

To Marry or not to Marry

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by

mwkruse
in , ,

Tony Jones at Emergent posted yesterday (Pastor, will you help us?) about a pastor friend named Bill Yaccino who has decided to marry couples that many other churches will not take. Not being a pastor, I have not personally had to wrestle with these issues. It seems to me that this is a complex issue requiring considerable pastoral care. What do you think? Is Yaccino on the right track?

To be honest, a few years ago I was one of those “wrong answer” pastors. I was sure that by being selective about whom I married, I was saving the institute of marriage.  I was being righteously selective, as if marriage was only valid for Christians.  I wonder how many couples I made feel terrible about themselves?

Comments

3 responses to “To Marry or not to Marry”

  1. Rodger Sellers Avatar
    Rodger Sellers

    Possibly. I’ve really struggled with this and been on both sides of it: Have watched a sr. pastor set a “policy” for us that made a hell of mess with folks irregardless of any contextual issues where we could have been pastoral but ended up being pharisaical. I’ve also done some weddings with the motive of being pastoral or redemptive and been left with the feeling of being “had” as the “rent a rev.” – nothing tastes worse than that and you have to fight being cynical after a few of these.
    Some good points to ponder with it. May have to do just that and post on my blog.
    On another note: Is it just me or does it seem strange to anyone else that the emergent blog does NOT have comments enabled? Seems to somewhat defeat the purpose of “conversation,” no? Maybe another post in the works there, who knows?
    RPS

    Reply
  2. Michael Kruse Avatar
    Michael Kruse

    “May have to do just that and post on my blog.”
    I’d love to hear more! This sounds like one of those issues where you need to take it case by case but also need some guiding principles.
    As to the comments at Emergent, I think that was a policy they created after they find out I might make some commments. *grin*

    Reply
  3. kairos Avatar
    kairos

    To be honest, I’m too newly ordained to have faced this one yet. But right now I’m more concerned that the people who want to get married are willing to do the counselling I will offer–to talk about their relationship, their future, their families, money, kids, jobs, success and failure–than about their membership in the church.
    I’ll be clear that my service is a religious service. But a willingness to know what they are covenanting into is more important.

    Reply

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